Management
Tips
Put
Your Self in the Driving Seat - Tips to Help You Take Control
Start
by accepting that your opinions and needs are important
and you have the right to express them.
Use
an assertive style of behaviour - Standing up for your own
rights without violating those of others. Expressing your
own needs, wants, feelings and beliefs in a direct, honest
and appropriate way.
You
have something to contribute as have others
The
aim of assertive behaviour is to satisfy the needs and wants
of both parties, in other words a 'win-win' situation.
Accept
responsibility for your own actions and use 'I' statements
- I feel (emotion) when you (behaviour). I would prefer
that you (alternate behaviour).
Use
assertive verbal skills such as
-
Broken record - In a calm voice quietly repeat what
it is you want until the other person listens and responds
to your need. Stick to your point and keep it short.
This will avoid the need to rehearse arguments until
you run out of steam and give in.
-
Fogging - This skill allows you to accept manipulative
criticism without becoming anxious or defensive. By
acknowledging to the critic the possibility that there
may be some truth in what s/he says you can disarm them.
Yet, you remain your own judge of what you do. It involves
you staying calm in the face of criticism and agreeing
what ever may be fair and useful in it. By refusing
to be provoked and upset by criticism, you remove its
destructive power
Make
the most of your listening skills. Ask open questions and
check out your assumptions and understanding.
Take
control of your inner voice. Listen to the positive enabling
voice and turn off the critic.
Think
about the language you use. Move from 'I should' 'I must'
to 'I choose'.
Think
about how you manage your time. If you are constantly responding
to other people's crisis then learn to say 'no' without
feeling guilty.
Practice
a couple of quick stress management techniques that you
can use when you are feeling challenged.
Identify
your strengths and promote them. Identify your learning
needs and make a SMART plan to address them.
…
And SMART objectives are those that are
-
Specific - is the objective clear
-
Measurable - can I measure the success or failure of
my objective?
-
Achievable - realistically, do I have enough resources
and time to carry out this objective successfully?
-
Relevant - does this objective help me achieve progress
for my project?
-
Time-bounded and trackable - do I have a firm end date
for my project and milestones along the way to help
me check on progress?
Get
used to change by challenging your self with small changes
that place you outside your comfort zone.
When
seeking to influence others prepare well. First put yourself
in their shoes and think about:
-
What agenda they might have?
-
What they might need from you?
-
What are the weaknesses in your idea they'll try to exploit
-
What are the strengths they'll try to avoid?
Then
prepare your response. Consequently, you will feel much
more confident going into a negotiation or influencing
situation. When you feel confident you will behave in
a confident manner and people will see a confident person.
